Do you consider yourself blessed? If you think blessed equals happy and having what we want, then I guess most probably your answer is NO. 

But what I’ve learned in my life full of multiple losses, disappointments, grief and a myriad of unmet expectations is that I had a wrong definition of happiness.  

I remember one particular moment when the realization that I am truly blessed abundantly by the Lord finally imprinted on my neural pathways. 

Blessed, despite everything I lacked in my life. Blessed, despite my unfulfilled longing to become a biological mother. Blessed, despite the exhaustion and battle scars from an intensive 5-year period of wrestling with God, and wrestling with my husband. 

The Gift of True Blessedness

Have you asked yourself why we wrestle with God? The essence of our wrestling is that we want somehow to bend Him to our will, to manipulate Him to do what we want or expect in our own terms and time. We want Him to serve us, often treating Him like our genie in the bottle, and we get angry and upset when He does things we don’t want and don’t understand. We demand answers and explanations. 

God welcomes these wrestling matches because He knows how perverted our fleshly thinking is. He restrains His power and gently touches us here and there to bring the needed change and transformation reflecting reality. Wrestling is one of the ways He prepares us to receive His blessings. 

The truth is, He is God and we are just human. We are there to serve Him, not the other way around. He is the One, asking the questions, not us.

Wrestling with God allows us to die to ourselves, to our ways, and will, and to learn to surrender and humble ourselves under His mighty hand. Because this is the path leading to trusting Him and being truly blessed by Him. 

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8, NIV) 

Blessed. 

True blessedness is a gift from God tied to His constant presence and love. It is not tied to our ideas, desires, outcomes, circumstances, roles, achievements, failures, or losses. 

Was the Lord with me when my soul disintegrated into a thousand pieces and burned in the fires of anxiety disorder and panic attacks? Yes, He was. 

In fact, His presence, words, and strength were the only constant that brought clarity, guidance, and healing.

It was His hand that reached down to the bottom and laid a firm and steady foundation, digging deeper in the dust and the mud. It was His double-edged scalpel doing open-heart surgery, removing the necrotic parts of my inner being and reconnecting what was meant to stay and live.

He was there: the Father, the Healer, the Peace, the Counselor, the Hope-giver, the Master Rebuilder and Restorer. 

Every day He was breathing life and the strength to keep moving forward; to keep living. 

He was there, so I was blessed. 

Truly Blessed by the Presence of God

Was the Lord with me when I faced the materialization of my worst fears, my absolute nightmare, watching my loved one dying a premature and inexplicable death despite the doctors’ efforts and my desperate pleas? Yes, He was. 

I felt His presence in the people He surrounded me with, helping and comforting me. He was there, giving me the strength to just make it: to inhale the next breath, to sleep, to do what I needed to do through the mental fog and excruciating pain. He carried my lifeless body and crushed spirit in the raging tsunami of grief, ensuring I would not drown. 

The Lord made sure the death blow didn’t destroy me. 

He was there, so I was blessed. 

Was the Lord with me when I set my feet on the unpredictable and dangerous grief journey? Yes, He was. 

Often, it didn’t seem so, especially when the darkness of extreme emotional loneliness settled over my soul. It was difficult to see Him when every new day, month, and year brought a myriad of new losses: the losses of a thousand moments, and things and dreams that could have been, but would never come about.

But He was there, enabling me to grieve in His presence, to let go, and to turn my heart towards Him. He tenderly spoke words of hope, comfort, and new visions, placing them like healing layers on my shattered heart. 

Signs of healing and new growth popped up and spread like tender green flowers, changing the barren landscape of my soul. I could feel joy again. 

He was there, so I was blessed. 

However, He blessed me not according to my definition or expectations of blessedness, but to His. Am I humble and trusting enough to accept His definition of my good and surrender to His will without reserves? 

This is the question, the journey, the goal. Closer and closer to Him, trusting, accepting, believing, and looking to Him as our One and Only, the true source of our blessings and happiness. 

True blessedness is not happiness in human terms: having everything we want, how and when we want it. Rather, it is a profound condition of inner satisfaction, sufficiency, and adequacy that doesn’t depend on outer circumstances for happiness. 

These are the deep waters of our souls, ruled by tranquility and peace. Nothing can disturb the deep waters. There might be tossing waves on the surface brought by stormy winds, but underneath is a fountain of living water.

God is the ocean where our souls swim, gently surrounding, embracing, and penetrating them. “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28, NIV)

Friend, do you want to be happy and blessed by the Lord? Then be ready and willing to let go of unmet expectations, disappointments, hurts, offenses, and your own plans and ideas of happiness. Let the Lord define your good. 

He can be trusted. He knows best, and He loves us best. 

Closing Prayer

Dear Lord, I am in pain. My soul hurts, my body aches. It is difficult to see Your goodness in the darkness. Open my eyes to see the manifold ways You turn my pain into purpose and use it as a catalyst for growth and transformation. Fill the voids in me with Your Holy Spirit. Change my perspective and strengthen me. Let my suffering not be in vain. I submit it all to You and I want Your will above all. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Guest Blogger Bio.

Hadassah Treu is an award-winning international author of “Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings,“ blogger, poet, speaker, and motivator, living in Bulgaria. She loves encouraging people to draw near to God in the dark valleys of life. Hadassah is a contributing author to several faith-based platforms like Koinonia, Devotable, Proverbs 31 Compel Pro Blog, and over 12 devotional and poetry anthologies. She has been featured in The Upper Room, (In)Courage, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Today’s Christian Living, Living by Design Ministries, and many other popular sites and podcasts. Grab Hadassah’s free book “How to Overcome Disappointment” and connect with her on her website.