I recently had the privilege of speaking to parents at a breakout session for a Family Discipleship Event hosted at our church called Impact.  I absolutely love any opportunity to invest in parents.  Why? Because parenting is difficult!!!  In fact, parenting is the most difficult thing that I do as a Man, Husband, Father, and Pastor!

Several years ago, when our boys were small, I would add encouraging phrases or quotes to their pictures and then post them on socials.  These were meant to be a reminder for me and an encouragement to others using the hashtag #DadStuff.

As I was preparing for this talk, one of these pictures surfaced with this statement: “The Greatest Responsibility given to any person is the privilege of being called “Dad” or “Mom”!!!“

How true!!!

Parenting is a great responsibility that you and I cannot take lightly.  Yes, it is the most difficult thing that I do, but it is also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced outside of marriage.  With that in mind, I believe at the heart of every parent is a desire to make a lasting impact on their children. 

5 Ways the Bible says to Influence Our Children for Christ

Let me take this time to challenge you to think through this influence with an Ephesians 5:1-2 heart:

“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2 (NLT)

Let me give you two personal reflective questions to keep in mind as you read:

1. Am I striving to imitate God in everything I do?
2. What influence is that having on my children?

1. Strong BIBLICAL MARRIAGES Influence Our Kids for Christ

Look what Ephesians 5:25-28 says,

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansingher by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)

Husbands, How do you love your wife like Christ loved the Church…

• You Sacrifice yourself for her, you serve her, you love her, you pursue her.
• You talk about Scripture with her and understand the importance of your words.
• You set her apart (holy and blameless) above any other woman. You guard your eyes.

Look at Ephesians 5:22-24 

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)

Can I be honest & transparent for a moment? A lot of the tension that happens in my home happens when I fail to love & lead my wife & family the way the Bible describes here in Ephesians 5. 

But I also think if you were honest for a moment … A lot of tension that happens in your home is caused by the same thing.

It’s hard for wives to submit to husbands who do not lead in the way the Bible describes. But it is equally hard for a husband to lead a wife who will not submit. 

This isn’t a time to point fingers at our spouse; it’s a time to surrender our marriage to Christ so our kids can be impacted in positive ways by moms and dads who have a strong Biblical Marriage.  

2. A Faith that is MORE THAN WORDS

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle, that is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” Brennan Manning

When I say a faith that is more than words, this is exactly what I am talking about. Our kids need to see in us an Everyday Faith not just a Sunday Faith. They need to see us living out our faith in Christ, they need to see us reading the Bible and they need to hear us pray.

As a kid, my Dad used to say, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say!”  Can I just tell you that this is horrible parenting advice!  In fact, it is completely opposite of what Paul challenges Christians to do when he says, 

“And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NLT)

We should be setting an example for our kids to see what it looks like to live out our faith in real ways.  

In the book “The Barbarian Way“, Erwin McManus writes,

“If our children are going to walk away from Christ, we need to raise them in such a way that they understand that to walk away from Jesus is to walk away from a life of faith, risk, and adventure and to choose a life that is boring, mundane, and ordinary.”

This is the type of faith that is more than words and the type of faith that children need to be impacted by us with in our homes. 

3. The Powerful PRAYER LIFE of Parents

The Bible says,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 (NIV)

Don’t miss the importance of this, parents!  When our kids hear us pray, we model for them the importance of prayer and teach them how to pray. Let me encourage you, if you aren’t praying with your kids, start something new tonight and pray with them before they go to bed.

4. Set Healthy BOUNDARIES for your Kids

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)

Because communicating healthy boundaries can be difficult, let me give you four things that may help you communicate these to your kids.

• DEFINE THE LINE – Set the boundary and explain why it’s a line. If you don’t define the line, the world will say there isn’t one!!!

• COMMUNICATE CONSEQUENCES – If you cross the line, this is what will happen.

• CORRECT MISBEHAVIOR – Because you crossed the line, this is your punishment. 

• CELEBRATE VICTORIES – Encourage positive behavior and talk about Spiritual Growth 

5. Family members who never give up on THE WORK OF THE GOSPEL

When days are hard, and I feel like a failure, I am reminded and thankful for this verse,

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

Aren’t you glad that God’s not done with you yet … and He isn’t done with them either? 

The Gospel has the ability to break the hardest heart, but we have to be willing to share it. Our influence will impact our kids when we teach and obey the gospel.

Our kids need to see that we never give up on the work of the Gospel regardless of how old we are or how old they are, and regardless of how close or how far they are from Christ. 

My prayer for you and me is that we would run with endurance to the race that God has set before us by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)

More Resources to Influence Your Kids for Jesus

5 Ways to Give Them Jesus

Ultimate List of Free Devotions for Youth

10 Ways to Spread the Gospel as a Family

Guest Blogger Bio.

Dan Gould

Dan and his wife, Stephanie, have been married for 21 years and have two boys – Josiah (20) and Jackson (17). Dan has been in ministry for 28 years and serves as the Associate Pastor of Care and Discipleship at Waypoint Church.