The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 provides both physical and spiritual examples for us to follow as mothers. In verse 26 (KJV) it states: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness”.
All her occasions of speaking were marked by wisdom and kindness.
Now before you go off thinking she was an abnormal and oddly pious woman, it helps to know that in the early Church “the very virgins and maids, as they sat at their work in wool, were wont to speak of God’s word.” (Trapp)
But you’re like me (hopefully you aren’t), you probably have regretted some things you’ve said in your lifetime.
Unfortunately, many of those times include my time of being a mother. Out of anger, frustration or even tiredness, I often struggle with saying the right things all the time. To make things worse, there are times when those feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my husband or my children.
So when they feel the brunt of my harsh words, I feel guilty and of course, remorseful.
But how can I overcome and prevent this from being my norm? How can I as a mother reach the ideal found in Proverbs 31:26? (Am I the only one who sometimes reads the scriptures and wonders if the people they are talking about are real?)
The truth is that those of us who are born again have Someone to help us, and His help is great.
God’s words advise us that there is Someone living in us who is greater than the one who is in the world. Scriptures also remind us that any man who is in Christ is a new creature – the old things are passed away and all things are become new.
So although it might seem hard, and downright unattainable, it is possible to be all that the scriptures invite us to be as mothers.
Here are three practical steps we can use to attain the ideal described in Proverbs 31:26.
There is power in proclaiming the word of God. When you take key verses, personalise them, and declare them with boldness and authority! The same can be applied with Proverbs 31:26.
As mothers, we can declare something like this: “I, Yaneke, will open my mouth with wisdom and in my tongue will be (or is) the law of kindness!” Making this proclamation with intensity and vigour helps – almost like we are engaging in a warfare to resist the forces that don’t want us to achieve this beauty from scripture.
From my experience, it is better to repeat it – it’s not something you casually mumble just once. Believe it and remind yourself often.
Pray, and Keep Praying
Prayer is the next method that will help us to become a mother whose mouth is open with wisdom and whose tongue has the law of kindness. Prayer in this context involves supplication where we are begging and appealing to God. We do it because we see our need for help from the Holy Spirit to create in ourselves what we cannot create on our own.
When Paul had a thorn in his flesh, he sought the Lord three times about it. God answered by giving him grace to strengthen him. Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, wrestled in prayer about what He knew would soon happen. God responded by sending an angel to minister to him.
The lesson we can learn from Paul and Jesus, is that when we make our supplication known to God through persistent, faith filled prayer, God will supply the spiritual empowerment it takes to be in line with His word.
Partner With Other Like-minded Moms
It always helps to fellowship with true believers and in this case with Christian mothers who are also striving for the same goal. It makes no sense to hang around people who don’t see your interest in the scriptures as being important, or who will even discourage you or mock you against attaining this example.
When Jesus said Jairus’ daughter was sleeping and not dead, he was laughed at (to scorn, actually), Luke 8: 51-54, KJV. So when it was time to perform His miracle, he sent out most of those who had gathered to weep.
It is this same Jesus who, being the very son of God, was limited in working miracles because of the unbelief of the people in his hometown.
It does matter who we associate with on our faith walk. We must identify with the help of the Holy Spirit, other iron that will help to sharpen our iron (Proverbs 27:17).
This fellowship extends into social media. One strategy that I employ for my spiritual well-being, is to follow people who are always pouring out God’s words and encouragement towards the things that are eternal.
So even if you have no way to avoid the physical company of those who discourage you, make the most of your internet connections. Join the groups on Facebook and on Instagram where other moms have God’s word on their minds and at heart. Sign up for great blogs (like this one) that are a source of biblical inspiration.
Final Thoughts on Proverbs 31:26
As moms who are pursuing the beauty of who God wants us to be, it is important not to allow guilt to stop us from running this race. As you proclaim and pray and partner with other mothers, give yourself some grace.
Even when you stumble, wash off that guilt, brush yourself off, get up again, and keep going!
As it was for the apostle Paul, God’s grace is sufficient for us too. With His help, we will reach the place where the words we speak in our homes are always wise and kind.
Father, thank You for the privilege of being a mother. I acknowledge my failures and frailty in what I say and how I speak to my household. Forgive me for the past, heal my family from my harsh or negative words, and give me grace to always speak words of wisdom and kindness to them. Amen.
Guest Blogger Bio.
Yaneke is a Jamaican blogger and YouTuber who is married with three children. She creates content for young Christian women on her Blog for the Christian Damsel (link christiandamsel.com) and shares fun, family-focussed posts at myquiverfull.com.
When she’s not too busy keeping house, she also makes music, poetry and handlettering art (link YouTube.com/@BibleVerseArt). You can be friends with her on Instagram @resourcefullyhome!