It was May of 2018 when my husband and I decided we were ready for a baby. A time meant to be filled with much happiness and hope. And while it started as a season of joy and gratitude, it began to transition to a season of sadness, confusion, and questioning. I mean, people get pregnant without even trying, right? People who do not even want children get pregnant. But here I am, in a place where I am doing everything “right,” yet the one thing that I want, the one thing that I am praying and begging God for, I can’t have.
Week after week, month after month, I found myself filled with fear, will I ever have a baby? Is something wrong with me? Is my past catching up with me? And despite doubt and fear trying its best to consume me, I never felt that God had left me. I knew that even though my mind was telling me one thing, God’s word said another. God’s word said I did not have to fear; God’s word said I did not have to worry; God’s word said that I could choose to trust in my problems or trust in Him.
Trust While Waiting
You see, I had to learn that no matter the outcome, no matter if I got pregnant or not, it did not change the fact that God is God and that God is good! I always found myself reflecting on the words in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” I was reminded that the words that Jesus spoke to Paul rang true for me. The truth that I was weak, hurt, and fearful, but I found joy in the fact that to God, my weakness, it was not a problem, but rather an opportunity for him to work.
To God, my weakness becomes an opportunity where I can gain his strength as I learn to depend on him. And here, I found myself in this place of transition. I went from depending on my problems and looking for my own solutions to a place of leaning on God and learning that he is my hope, my help, and my strength.
So I made a choice; I chose to trust him. Did I still worry? Yes! Did I still fear? Yes. Did I still doubt? Absolutely. But instead of letting those thoughts consume me, I learned to cast down those thoughts and combat them with the word of God. And I began to transition from a place of allowing myself to be consumed with what I had no control over to finding contentment while I learned to rest, wait, and trust in God.
His Grace is Sufficient
Here I am in 2020, two years later, I have a beautiful one-year-old baby girl. She brings me joy, even on my hardest day. She teaches me a new level of grace and compassion. She helps me become a better woman. But most of all, every time I look at her, I am reminded of God’s grace.
When I see her, I am reminded that God is still in the business of answering prayers. Her story, the story of how she got here, is a story of God’s grace, favor, and love! God has graced me to share his truth with her. To lead her, to guide her, and to show her who he is. When I see her, I see the Father, and I am reminded that trusting God is worth it each and every time. We do not always get what we pray for, but the truth is God always gives us just what we need.
Sharing is caring. Click image to pin to Pinterest.
Guest Blogger Bio:
Tamika Mahomes is a Pastor’s Wife, Journalist and Mother. With a passion for writing, she showcases the gospel via her blog Flourish In Purpose. Tamika finds great joy in helping men and women know Jesus. Her heart’s desire is to know God more and deeper, so that the truths that she learns can in turn be shared with others. In her down time, you can find Tamika reading, listening to podcasts, or spending time with her family. You can connect further with her via her blog www.flourishinpurpose.com or via her Instagram @flourishinpurpose.