The Perfect Mom:
She never yells.
Never gets frustrated .
Never too busy.
Her home is immaculate
She’s on top of laundry, dishes, and dinner.
Cooks healthy meals every night!
Looks well manicured and there’s not a hair out of place while doing it.
She Does Not Exist!
I’m not sure what your idea of the perfect mom looks like but mine is somewhere near the woman that I just described. And, this woman is like some kind of mutated super woman who simply cannot be real.
Perfectly Designed to Be the Perfect Mom
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.Ephesians 2:10
You are not perfect as a mom and never will be. However, you are the perfect Mom for your kids! The Lord in His infinite wisdom created you with the foreknowledge of giving you children to raise for His glory.
This means that there is no need to question whether you are fulfilling your calling. He blessed you with those babies and through His word, His grace, and His wisdom, He will help you to raise them and train them.
God told Adam and Eve in the garden to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Gen. 1:28 NIV) He created sex and reproduction. He created your body to grow, deliver, and nourish a baby. You are perfectly designed physically to care for your child.
God has also given you the innate ability to comfort and love your child through the ups and downs of life. He has made you to grow and learn along side them and know how to supply their needs. Just look at these scriptures for encouragement that God has perfectly designed you mentally to care for your child:
- Isaiah 66:13: “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.”
- Isaiah 49:15: “Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has born?”
- Proverbs 31:28–29: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'”
Finally, I would like to remind us all that God has perfectly designed the parents spiritually to be able to pass along knowledge of Him and His word. This being our most important job.
- Proverbs 31:26: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
- Deuteronomy 6:6–7: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
- Deuteronomy 4:9: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”
Room for Improvement
As fallen people, we are all prone to sin and fall short of God’s glory. Thankfully through the grace of Jesus, we are forgiven. And, He loves us enough to keep on correcting us and growing us in His righteousness.
One of the things we cannot do is give up. We can’t decide that we will never be the perfect mom so that we won’t even attempt to improve. The scriptures encourage us in Galatians 6:9 to not grow weary of doing good. It promises God will multiply our faithfulness in due time.
Second, we must persevere in prayer. We have to be moms that “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). We have to ask the Lord to correct us by His word. We have to confess sin, ask for forgiveness, and move forward believing that He is making us better.
Last, we cannot forsake reading our Bibles. We can not grow in the areas that we struggle if we can’t replace glaring problems with obedience. We can’t stop believing the lies that Satan feeds us if we don’t replace it with the truth of God’s word.
If you can, get up before your kids and read. If you struggle with this, find a quiet moment during the day or lock yourself in the bathroom for ten minutes. Whatever it takes, desire the word and let it improve you!
Imperfect Moms, We Have to Stick Together
One of the great things about being imperfect is that we never outgrow the need for help. We all need a group of women who encourage, inspire, and hold us up.
I’m not sure about you but I have found that at every season in motherhood, there is always another woman that I find seems to be doing it well. I question myself and wonder if she is the perfect mom. But, upon further inspection and conversation, I find that just like me, she had some challenges and help along the way.
God made us to need one another. He made us to rely on community and to be a bigger part of His family. So, I encourage you to find some other moms that you can lock arms with in your season. Never be too proud to ask for some support.
Maybe you need a peer, whose kids are the same ages, who can understand your current situation. Maybe you need an older mom who has been there before and who can give you some much needed advice and hope. Or, maybe you just need to sit down and have a long conversation with a leader in the church who can give you some spiritual direction.
Helping Other Imperfectly, Perfect Moms
Along the way, don’t forget that there is another imperfect mom out there who can use your assistance and experiences too. Remember to pray for other moms. Here is a list of things to think about when helping other moms:
- Be vulnerable. It’s not fun to share our failures but it helps us to relate to others and allows them to see that no one is perfect. Plus, it builds trust.
- Be honest. Don’t let something another mom tells you that you know is harmful or sinful slide because you don’t want to rock the boat. Love is truthful.
- Be kind. Not everyone parents the same way. Also, not everyone’s home life, culture, or background is the same as yours. Don’t judge anything that isn’t against God’s word.
- Be available. I think some moms just feel like others are too busy with their own lives and kids to help out. Its true that we are all busy but we can’t be too busy to serve God’s kingdom by giving some time to another mom.
Another mom should feel comfortable opening up to you and asking you for advice. She needs the feel confident that you will not judge her, will not share her struggles with anyone else, and will always direct her back to God’s word.
Encouragement for the Not Perfect Mom
Hey Momma. The good news is that no human is perfect. But, if you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you serve a perfect God. And in Him, you find all of the grace, strength, and mercy you need to find forgiveness, hope, and blessings.
In Hebrews 10:14 (NIV), it says “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” Even though we are not perfect here on this earth, in God’s eyes, we are covered by the blood of Jesus and if we let the Holy Spirit work in us, we are being made holy. Some day, we will be perfect forever in eternity with our Lord.
What a beautiful encouragement and blessing to look forward to in eternity. So, let’s keep praying, keep reading our word, keep striving to be the best mom we can be for our kids, and let’s by grace, through faith remember that God is working to make us perfect someday!